Probably everyone has a person whom you just can not forget ...
Even if a lot of time has passed after your relationship, even if you haven’t been talking for a long time, this person continues to live in your mind.
Not that you fantasized or remembered him all day. Not that your life stopped when he left. Not that you go further - maybe you even have a new relationship.
But the existence of this one person is like an alarm clock that rings from time to time. It is like a sediment on the bottom of a glass - if you stir it up, it will make all the water cloudy.
Any object, sound, taste or smell associated with it, can again remind him.
If you meet his eyes, you will see the same beautiful look. The smell of his breath and skin excites the sense of smell. I immediately remember how good it was next to him, how irreplaceable are those feelings ...
It seems that this person lives in us, whether we like it or not. It is like a plant that continues to grow, even though we do not water it. A cloud that continues to appear, even when it's sunny.
And these are not always desirable memories. Sometimes it stirs the soul.
Even more awful is how our world turns upside down when this person makes contact. Those mixed feelings that he evokes in us prove that he still controls every part of our heart - and not in a good way.
We know deep in our souls that if this person wants to meet — or, God forbid, run away with us — we will not stand. “No” will be the hardest answer. We will step on our pride, our pain, our strength, just to do it for the sake of this person.
But we will not admit it to anyone - we are ashamed to admit it even to ourselves. What kind of fool would continue to cling to someone who doesn't care about him?
Such people will never become strangers to us. They will always be the home where we are most comfortable. They are our refuge, our Universe ...
They are the book of memory of our joy, our stupidity. They are a box under the bed in which we keep secrets, strengths and weaknesses.
We want to forget them. We want to wake up one morning and pretend that they do not exist. We want to look at them like any other person.
But we will never forget them. Why? Because they forgot us.
This is like a psychological game that has no end.
At an unconscious level, we want this person so desperately, because he does not want us with the same force. Maybe it all went away when you were still together. Or maybe he never had any special feelings ...
We come up with a million reasons why he does not feel the same to us. Why did he leave, why did not he return ...
And even worse, when we find excuses - consolation for ourselves.
Perhaps one day we will stop this lie. We accept the fact that this person is not with us. And we can continue to lie to yourself. Keep banging your head against the wall ... or ... or accept the truth.
It will hurt. But we know that after that the wound usually heals.
It’s hard to admit that the other person has forgotten you. But it can help us forget it. Maybe not forever. But when once again this alarm goes off in our head, there will be nothing but a smile.
Time helps usually. And even better - true love. When you meet someone who stays with you, then you will forget about who left.